Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
