Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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