im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
