I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
