I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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