oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's just like the Real World with babies
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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