I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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