you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
