I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
