in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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