I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize