just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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