I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
