is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize