I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
