first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
