Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
