Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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