Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Success! We fucked roommates!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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