Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
