i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize