If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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