I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
