so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
