so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
