Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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