did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
