Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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