Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
