Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
