I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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