i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
