shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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