Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize