thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
