I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
