I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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