just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
