Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
