So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
