Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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