what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
