Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
