why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
