You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
