all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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