He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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