you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
