I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Houston, we have a blender
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
