she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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