yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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