Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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