If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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