Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
