im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
