Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
