Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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