every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
