I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
